Inside with him
by AnonymousStendanFan
Summary: Brendan is in prison and Ste is alone. He does bad things, but will he be caught. So this is my very first fic i've written and I know where I want to go with it, I'm just not sure whether I'm any good at writing them, so i'll upload the first two chapters and if you like it, I shall carry on. Thankyou.
1. Chapter 1

Its cold.

Brendan shivers as he lies there thinking about Steven. He didn't like the thought of Steven being alone in the flat drinking himself to sleep each night. He decided to think of their memories. The time in dublin and when they baked bread together and talked about their future together. Everything was so perfect. He knew deep down that they were never going to get a happy ending. He knew he didnt deserve one. He wanted Steven and Cheryl to be happy even if it meant never seeing them again. He couldn't let Cheryl go to prison. What kind of older brother would he be then? He knew it had to this way and he knows that Steven does too. As much as he wished he didnt. He wants to be with Steven and the kids right now. He wants to tell them that everything is going to be okay but he can't so instead he just lies there staring at the ceiling of his small cell.

He hasn't slept much, a few hours here and there but he hasn't had a proper good night sleep in ages. There's a knock at the cell door, an officer shouts "Do you want a shower or not?" Brendan sighs. He gets up, hits the cell door and says "Open up then" The officer opens the door and looks Brendan up and down, looks at him in disgust. Brendan pushes past him and makes his way to the shower room. Thoughts of Steven drown his ears as the shouts and cries of grown men begin. "I love you Steven" he hears himself repeating over and over again. Someone shoves him, he looks up "Alright princess" smirks Warren. "Foxy, what do you want?" "Nothing, yet." Brendan watches him walk away then continues to walk himself.

He gets to the shower room and begins to take of his clothes. He can see bruises all over his body. He thinks its his punishment for what he did to Steven. He tells himself time after time that he deserves it. But he knows he is weak in this place. He steps into the shower and lets the boiling water hit hard on his shoulders a run down his spine, flinching every now and then when the hard water hits a bruise or cut. He spends so long just standing there, thinking. This is the only time he gets to escape what now is reality.

He's now back in his cell, he knows what time it is. He sits there, reading the graffiti on the wall while he waits. The door swings open. He knows what is about to happen. It happens everyday. He stands up to the 2 large boys standing in front of him. He tries to look strong, he says 'Not like you too be late' the boys charge at him, grabs his arms and punch and punch and punch. Brendan doesn't cry out but the boys know it hurts, you can see it in his eyes. After many punches and kicks Brendan is on the floor. The boys spit on him and walk away. Brendan rolls over on the floor and lets out a heavy breath.


	2. Chapter 2- Ste's POV

Ste's POV-

Ste awakes from where he passed out a few hours ago. He can't really remember much but he sits up, his head hurts and he notices the bottles and cans of beer everywhere. He knows he's done it again. He knows he's drunk so much that he's passed out. Lately its the only way he can to sleep, by laying on the sofa swallowing the pills he supposed to be selling for Trevor or drinking he sorrows away and watching numbing TV. He's not really watching it, he's looking straight through it, trying to block out the thoughts of Brendan. He grabs his phone of the table and looks at the time, 1:30pm and 3 missed calls. He hopes for them to be Brendan but deep down he knows they will never be. 2 Doug. 1 Trevor. He sighs. He's grateful for what Doug has done for him but he knows that he is desperate to say 'I told you so' He switches his phone off, not because he doesn't want Doug or Trevor to call and not because he doesn't want Brendan to call but because he doesn't want to see that Brendan will never call. He starts to look through the pictures, looks at all the memories him and Brendan had. He deletes a few but not all and begins to cry again. His eyes begin to sting from all the crying he's done. He longs for Brendan to knock on the door but he tells himself that its not going to happen and Brendan has gone away for life. He gets up and gets into the shower.

He walks back into the living room in just his underwear and a towel around his neck. He sits on the sofa and rubs his hair, making it all messy with the towel. He throws it on top of the piles of washing he has on the table, as he looks around the place he notices what a mess it is. Beer cans everywhere, washing all over the floor, pizza boxes scattered and not to mention the rubbish. He can't bring himself to get up and clean so instead he walks into the bedroom and gets dressed. He spots his work uniform in the wardrobe, pulls it out and looks at it. He scrunches it up and throws it into the corner of the room as he does so something falls from the top shelf. He hesitates and but picks it up, opening it out, from the back it looks like a plain black t-shirt, he turns it around and realises what it is. He strokes his fingers over the logo saying chezchez. His mouth starts to quiver and he feels a small tear fall from his right eye. He told himself no more crying but he can't help it. Tears start to fall faster and faster.

He wipes them away and shoves on some trackies and a white t-shirt. He storms out of the bedroom and into the kitchen and starts to shove the washing into the machine, he then speedily walks into the living room with a black bag and picks up all the rubbish, he hoovers and sprays febreeze. He does this all within an hour. He's tired, his sleeping pattern hasn't been right these last few nights, sleeping here and there but not a full night sleep in ages. He slumps himself on to the sofa, he lets out a sigh and thinks to himself, anything to pass time, these 30 years are going to be a long wait. He turns on the TV, lays down and begins to dose off.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is Ste's POV again, I think i'm gonna stick with this POV for a few more chapters but I will get back on to Brendan's soon. Hope your enjoying it so far, please review, I'd love to hear your reviews as you know i'm new to writing fics:)**

Ste's POV-

He awakes, lying on the very uncomfortable sofa. He hates this sofa and he was going to get rid of it. He was going to get rid of everything after Leah and Lucas left with Amy, it didn't feel right. He was going to re-decorate the whole entire flat with Brendan. They just never got round to it. He sighs and gets up into the shower. His whole body feels heavy, like he's carrying 10 bricks on each shoulder and they're digging into him, piercing his skin. He lets out a deep long sigh and tries to relax.

He gets out of the shower and wraps a towel round his waist as his phone begins to ring, Trevor. This isn't going to be a friendly conversation. Trevor wants something.

Ste answers 'Trevor?' '

'Stevie Boy, How are you?' Trevor says in a sarcastic voice and Ste knows he's not really asking how he is, but asking if he's fit enough to do this job for him and even if he isn't Trevor will find something for him.

'Like you really care' Ste says trying to sound tough.

'Now now Ste, is that really the way to talk to me?'  
'Just tell me what you want Trevor'  
'But we were just starting to have fun'  
Ste sighs, he's bored of these silly games Trevor always tries to play with him, Trevor thinks he is so funny.  
Trevor laughs.  
'Fine, I have a job for you Ste, meet me at the back alley, midday.'  
'Tell me what it is first'  
'Drugs Ste, What else? They need shifting as soon as, so be there'  
'Fine'  
Ste knows he shouldn't be doing this. He doesn't want to be doing this, but he needs the money and he needs it quick. How else is he meant to support Leah and Lucas. He thinks to himself what his kids would be thinking of him right now, if they new what he was doing. He thought about what Brendan would be thinking if he new what was happening to him. Then he thinks, Brendan wouldn't care. Brendan doesn't care about anything. Ste starts to well up but shakes the thoughts out of his head.

He picks up his bag, throws on his coat and leaves the flat. He's walking through the village when he notices how busy the deli is. He looks at Doug who is rushed of his feet working on his own and Ste feels guilty, he wants to run in there and help Doug out. No matter what went on between them both, he is still his friend and doesn't like seeing him so stressed out. He looks at his watch and knows that Trevor will be waiting for him so he turns his head away from the deli and starts to walk away. Doug spots Ste and runs out to call on him but Ste just looks at him and runs away. Doug sighs and walks back into the deli to serve his many customers.

Ste arrives at the ally and he's out of breath. He could've stop running ages ago but for some reason he liked running as fast as he can. Trevor shouts to him 'Where have you been? Not running from the cops I hope'

'No, no. Of course not, I'm not stupid you know'  
'Yeah, we'll see about that. Here' Trevor grabs Ste's bag and fills it with pills. 'I want you to get rid them as soon as and call me when they're all gone.'  
'I know what I'm doing Trevor'  
'Oh yeah, I forgot you were experienced, now get lost and don't come back until your job is done and remember Ste, if you cross me-'

'I know, I won't'  
'Good'  
Ste begins to run again, he feels free. He feels like he can just keep running, running from his life, running from his problems, running to Brendan. Ste runs as fast as he can until he smashes into something. He drops the bag and it splits open, revealing the pills. He quickly leans down to put the pills back into the bag and lifts his head up to see what he ran into. Its a police officer. DC Trent in fact.


	4. Chapter 4- Ste's POV

_**Sorry the updates are taking so long, this is actually really hard to write. This chapter is very short because I've had enough of Ste's POV now and in the next chapter it will be Brendans. I'm currently writing the next chapter but it's very hard so the next update will probably be in a week or two and I'm still not entirely sure where I am going with this yet but I have a few ideas. Anyway, Please Read and Review:)**_

Ste sits there impatiently, tapping his leg in the questioning cell. He doesn't know what to do, he knows he won't get away with it. How could he? The drugs went everywhere and that policeman saw it all. His sentence could be shortened he thought to himself, if he said he was just carrying them and not selling them but whatever he said, he knew he couldn't grass on Trevor.

He started to think positive, what did he have to loose if he went inside anyway? At least he would've escaped from Trevor. He had nothing, no money, no kids, no lover.. lover.. Brendan is in prison. He started to think he could possibly see Brendan but no matter what prison is a horrible place and it can turn any man insane.

He looks up to the camera and know they're watching him, he looks away and tells himself to act cool because he knows guilt must be written all over his face. DS Trent walks in and sits opposite Ste and looks at him hard. Ste breaks the eye contact and looks at the floor. 'So Steven, care to explain why you had those drugs on you?' He said in a sarcastic tone like he couldn't guess already.

'Its Ste and I was just carrying them.. Looking after them I mean, for a friend'

'A friend eh? And who might this friend be?'

Ste sits there in silence looking at him.

'Ste, you had class A drugs on you, you're looking at a prison sentence for at least 2 years, and the only way that can be shortened is if you tell us who the big fish is because you're clearly the little fish'

'I am the big fish, all those drugs they were.. they were mine'

'Where did you get them from Ste? This is your last chance'  
Ste thinks for a minute, either way he's going to get sent down for this, why let Trevor have the satisfaction of freedom?

DS Trent gets up and starts to walk out the door  
'Wait' Ste says quickly

'Fine, I'll tell you everything'

-

Ste is now sitting in a cell, cold and bored. Reads the graffiti on the wall and notices someones name.. Brendan.

'Brendan is a murdering faggot' Ste shakes his head, Brendan must be hating his life right now, must feel like he's in hell. Why should I care though? He's never cared about me? Maybe he deserved this? I just wish, I wish he thought about me everyday, as much as I thought about him. I wish he loved me as much as I loved him.

Ste layed down and started to come to terms with what he has now. Nothing.


End file.
